LOVING OR LOVEABLE: THIS IS THE QUESTION!
Men and women today all say they want love. We sing about it, dream about it , fight and kill for it, .....Die for it. Yet for many (myself included) Love is as elusive as trying to catch lightning in a bottle. In this modern era love is more difficult to attain due to our culture of self centeredness and narcissism.
Many of us try to attract love by making ourselves desirable, but we often end up heartbroken and disappointed. We focus on reeling love in like a fish on a hook. We try to draw it in like a magnet. We believe that if we make ourselves lovable, we will be loved. We change our appearances and our behaviors in an attempt to attract love. We get hair weaves, makeup, lipstick, fake boobs, fake butts, face-lifts, steroids, Viagra, tattoos, and testosterone injections. Young black men sag their pants. We do all of these things because we believe that they will make someone love us. But being lovable is not the goal.
What is Needed is Loving
Love is more than just an abstract concept; it is an action, a deliberate choice that requires engagement, effort, and vulnerability. It is not something that we passively receive based on how we look, what we own, or how much we achieve. Instead, love is something we do, something we give. It moves outward toward its object, seeking connection, expression, and fulfillment.
Loving is an Action
Many people mistakenly believe that love is a reward for being desirable, successful, or attractive. They assume that if they enhance their physical appeal or accumulate wealth, love will naturally flow their way. But love is not a transactional experience. It is not something that is magnetically drawn to physical beauty or material wealth alone. Love is cultivated through action—through kindness, patience, empathy, and sacrifice.
Loving means expressing affection, giving without expectation, and showing up even when it feels risky. It means allowing oneself to be seen in moments of vulnerability, knowing that love cannot exist without openness and trust. Love is courageous because it moves beyond self-preservation. It gives, even when there is no guarantee of receiving in return.
The Illusion of External Validation
Many of us tie our worth to external factors, believing that if we become more physically appealing or more financially successful, love will finally come our way. We sculpt our bodies in the gym, enhance our appearances, drive luxury cars, or achieve professional success—yet love remains elusive. When our efforts don’t yield the romantic connection we long for, we start to question our worth.
This disappointment can lead to a cycle of self-doubt. We wonder, Am I not good enough? What more do I need to do to be loved? This mindset erodes self-esteem and compels us to chase love in all the wrong places—by altering ourselves instead of nurturing genuine emotional connections.
John 3:16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
Ecc 9:11 I returned, and saw under the sun, that the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither yet bread to the wise, nor yet riches to men of understanding, nor yet favour to men of skill; but time and chance happeneth to them all.
Deuteronomy 6:5 And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might.
Deuteronomy 6:6 ¶ And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart:
Deuteronomy 6:7 And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.
Deuteronomy 6:8 And thou shalt bind them for a sign upon thine hand, and they shall be as frontlets between thine eyes.
Love does not operate on a system of merit. It is not awarded to the most beautiful, the most successful, or the most charismatic. Instead, it flourishes in environments of authenticity and emotional availability.
People who experience deep, fulfilling love are not necessarily the ones with the most physical beauty or wealth but rather those who are willing to love and be loved. They cultivate emotional depth, vulnerability, and self-respect. They focus on giving love rather than solely seeking to receive it.
The Power of Self-Love
Before we can truly receive love, we must first embrace ourselves as we are. Self-love is not about external enhancements; it is about valuing oneself from within. It is about knowing that our worth is not determined by how others perceive us but by the love and kindness we extend to ourselves and others.
When we stop chasing love and start being love, it finds its way to us naturally. Instead of seeking validation through achievements or physical changes, we shift our focus to building meaningful connections, being emotionally available, and practicing compassion.
Conclusion
Loving is not about waiting for love to come; it is about actively engaging in love. It is about being present, being vulnerable, and giving freely. When we move beyond the illusion that love is something to be earned through material or physical enhancements, we unlock the true essence of love—one that is rooted in connection, authenticity, and mutual respect.
What is needed is not just to be loved, but to be loving. And in doing so, love will find its way to us in ways we never expected.
Love Reflects Back to You
Love is a powerful force that, when given freely and genuinely, returns in kind—sometimes in ways beyond our immediate understanding. It is both an energy and an influence, shaping not only our relationships but also the very essence of our being. The way we love, and the way we are loved in return, creates a cycle that can either nurture or deplete our souls.
The Reciprocity of Love
Love given from the heart has a transformative effect. When a man pours love into his wife or partner, that love does not disappear into the ether; it is absorbed, processed, and reflected back, often with even greater depth. If the woman is receptive—like an open vessel—she does not merely return the love as she received it but enhances it with her own essence. This exchange creates a deep emotional and spiritual synergy, allowing both individuals to experience a level of joy, peace, and security that cannot be fabricated through external means.
This mirrors the relationship between Christ and the church, where divine love is poured into those who are willing to receive it. Just as the church must be open to Christ’s love in order to reflect it back in faithful devotion, a relationship thrives when both partners are open to the giving and receiving of love.
The Fear of Love’s Power
However, not everyone is ready for love of this magnitude. Many hearts remain unrenewed, burdened by past wounds, fears, and insecurities. Deep down, they may long for love, yet paradoxically, they resist it because of its intensity. Love, in its purest form, exposes us—it strips away facades, calls out our vulnerabilities, and demands that we face our true selves.
Some people respond to this exposure by rejecting love outright. They may:
Sabotage it out of fear of loss.
Abuse it as a means of control.
Abandon it to prevent being emotionally overwhelmed.
Destroy it if their spirit is too hardened to embrace it.
This is why the concept of being “equally yoked” is so vital. A person who is not aligned with divine love—who does not understand, cherish, or accept love as God intends—will instinctively resist it. Rather than allowing love to transform them, they will perceive it as a threat and seek ways to rid themselves of it. The presence of true love acts as a witness against those who reject righteousness, shining light on their darkness and convicting their conscience.
Love as a Transformative Energy
Love is not merely an emotion or a sentiment; it is a powerful energy that radiates outward from the individual who possesses it. The love a person carries influences everyone they encounter, whether consciously or subconsciously. This influence operates at a deep, even physiological level, much like radiation—altering the emotional, spiritual, and even physical state of those who come into contact with it.
Consider:
A woman who is truly loved radiates a certain glow—a countenance of peace and contentment.
Children raised in a loving home exhibit security and confidence in their demeanor.
A room filled with love has a different atmosphere than one filled with resentment or indifference.
Love has the power to penetrate and transform, reaching into the depths of a person’s soul and even affecting their physical state. Just as prolonged exposure to radiation alters DNA, prolonged exposure to true love alters the very essence of a person’s being. It heals, it uplifts, and it strengthens.
Choosing Love Over Fear
At its core, love is a fire—warm, illuminating, and capable of refining those who embrace it. Yet, many run from this fire, fearing its intensity. They prefer the cold familiarity of a world that has conditioned them to reject vulnerability and connection.
But for those who choose to stand in love’s fire, the rewards are immeasurable. They experience:
Security, knowing they are deeply cherished.
Joy, as love multiplies within and around them.
Blessings, as love aligns them with divine favor.
Love reflects back to you what you pour into the world. If you love with authenticity, that love will return to you in ways beyond what you can imagine. If you withhold love out of fear, you will find yourself surrounded by the very coldness you sought to avoid.
The choice is always ours—to embrace the fire of love or to run from its warmth.
True Love is Akin to a High Mountain
True love, much like a towering mountain, stands as a challenge, an invitation, and a testament to those who dare to ascend. It is not for the faint-hearted; it demands endurance, vulnerability, and a willingness to rise above fear. Many people—particularly those who have experienced pain, betrayal, or disappointment—are content to remain at the base, where it feels safer. But love, in its truest form, calls us higher.
The Fear of Heights and the Fear of Love
There’s a reason many people, myself included, have a fear of heights. Heights represent uncertainty, risk, and exposure. The higher we go, the more vulnerable we become to falling. Love operates in much the same way. Deep, fulfilling love requires a level of trust that can feel terrifying. It demands that we let go of control, open ourselves fully, and embrace the possibility that we might get hurt.
The base of the mountain—where many choose to remain—represents safety in relationships. It is comfortable, predictable, and free from the fear of a painful fall. But just as those who never climb will never witness the breathtaking view from the summit, those who never take the risk of true love will never experience its full beauty.
Love as a Reflection of Self
We long to see ourselves in the ones we love. Just as a child carries the essence of their parents—both physically and spiritually—we desire relationships that reflect back to us who we truly are. This is why I want to see kinky hair on my woman. Not because straight hair is wrong, but because I desire a partner who reflects my essence, just as we are meant to reflect the image of the Most High back to Him.
In the same way that God’s love calls us to be like Him, our love should be rooted in an authentic reflection of who we are. Love should not require us to alter or diminish our essence. Instead, it should elevate and confirm our identity.
Our Lives as a Testimony
Everything about our existence on Earth is a reflection of a greater spiritual reality. The way parents love their children mirrors the unconditional love God has for us. The sacrifices made for love reflect the ultimate sacrifice made by Christ. Our relationships, struggles, and triumphs are not just personal experiences—they are testimonies to the universe of what love truly is.
Satan, the great deceiver, seeks to distort and destroy this love. He promotes fear over trust, lust over commitment, and selfishness over sacrifice. His goal is to keep us at the base of the mountain, afraid to climb. He knows that if we ever experience true love—whether in our relationships, our faith, or our purpose—it will transform us. And transformed people are dangerous to his agenda.
The Call to Rise
The question then becomes: will we climb? Will we push past the fear and trust in the process of love? True love is not easy—it is work, it is growth, it is vulnerability. But the view from the summit is unlike anything we can experience from the safety of the ground.
Just as mountains are not climbed in a single bound, love is not mastered overnight. It is a journey, taken one step at a time. Some days, we may feel like turning back. Other days, we may stumble. But if we keep climbing, if we keep choosing love over fear, we will reach heights we never imagined.
True love, like the highest peaks, is not for those who fear the climb. It is for those willing to ascend, to struggle, and to overcome. And for those who do, the reward is a love that stands above all else—a love that cannot be shaken.
Matthew 22:34-40 (KJV)
34[But when the Pharisees had heard that he had put the Sadducees to silence, they were gathered together.]
35[Then one of them, ] which was[ a lawyer, asked ] him a question[, tempting him, and saying,]
36[Master, which ] is[ the great commandment in the law?]
37[Jesus said unto him, ] Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.
38This is the first and great commandment.
39And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.
40On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.
What Yahusha is discussing here is the principle of reflection of God 's love disseminating into the world through his children and subduing the wickedness that seeks to dominate and destroy the earth and its inhabitants.
One must pray for, fast for, and plead to God for his love and holiness to be poured out into the earth. We must yearn for the LATTER RAIN.
Joel 2:28-29 (KJV)
28And it shall come to pass afterward, that I will pour out my spirit upon all flesh; and your sons and your daughters shall prophesy, your old men shall dream dreams, your young men shall see visions:
Acts 2:17-18 (KJV)
17And it shall come to pass in the last days, saith God, I will pour out of my Spirit upon all flesh: and your sons and your daughters shall prophesy, and your young men shall see visions, and your old men shall dream dreams:
It is that spirit that Satan is at war with. That spirit is the holy spirit. The spirit of love.
Real love generates a desire to submit
Romans 2:4 (KJV)
4[Or despisest thou the riches of his goodness and forbearance and longsuffering; not knowing that the goodness of God leadeth thee to repentance?]
Romans 2:5-11 (KJV)
5[But after thy hardness and impenitent heart treasurest up unto thyself wrath against the day of wrath and revelation of the righteous judgment of God;]
6[Who will render to every man according to his deeds:]
7[To them who by patient continuance in well doing seek for glory and honour and immortality, eternal life:]
8[But unto them that are contentious, and do not obey the truth, but obey unrighteousness, indignation and wrath,]
9[Tribulation and anguish, upon every soul of man that doeth evil, of the Jew first, and also of the Gentile;]
10[But glory, honour, and peace, to every man that worketh good, to the Jew first, and also to the Gentile:]
11[For there is no respect of persons with God.]
The love and benevolence of Yahuah invokes surrender in the hearts of those who are not resistant to its invocations. The love of a Godly righteous man will invoke a woman's feminine instinct to submit to his leadership If she is not resistant to it. If she allows his love to infuse in her spirit the two will become one flesh.
This is the process of love that subdues the earth in Yahuah's image. We are his vessels . Satan has corrupted man to the point that many of us are reflecting HIS (Satan) diabolical image. When true love between men and women is created, it generates an energy, a spiritual reaction is produced and Satan and his host seek it out in order to destroy it. The way wicked king Herod wanted to kill the Christ child at his birth. Love was born through the Son of God ,Yeshua. Herod, acting on behalf of Satan, sought to murder him as a result. This same spirit was manifested in Cain when he slew righteous Abel. This same spirit is at work today.
KELVIN L. STUBBLEFIELD IS A GRADUATE OF Middle Tennessee State University IN 1983.
HE IS THE AUTHOR OF “AMERICAN REPROBATE: GOD'S CURSE AND RESTORATION OF THE AFRICAN AMERICAN”. THAT WAS PUBLISHED IN 2012.
HE AND HIS WIFE SANDRIA, CO-FOUNDED “BIGSTUB CREATIONS” IN 2018. We are a vehicle for creativity! Our mission is to encourage individuals to utilize their artistic expression through the performing arts.
He has recently published his second book in November 2023.
STAYING HUMAN: EXAMINING THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN GOD, MAN AND ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE”.
Biblical, Spiritual, and Social Analysis and Solutions to Black Americans and Mainstream AMERICAN Dysgenics, Narcissistic Self Indulgence, and the Current Politics of Self Annihilation. Amidst the dawning of Artificial General intelligence and Trans-Humanity.
YOU CAN PURCHASE HIS PUBLICATIONS OR LEARN ABOUT OUR NEXT PROJECT; YOU CAN VISIT THE FOLLOWING WEBSITES.
https://www.klstubblefield.com/
https://www.bigstubcreations.com/
https://loveintheblack.blogspot.com/
GENTILE WARS PT 2,3,4
https://lovingmyhumans.blogspot.com
GENTILE WARS PT 1
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